Fibro 999, Sherry 0

Today I had to do something awful.  I had to write a letter of resignation from teaching ONE class once a week for twelve weeks.  ONE.  I can't even feel well enough on a regular basis to fulfill such a small obligation.  I am disappointing students, parents, the school board, myself, and worst of all, Darcy.  

You see, it is a parent-led co-op and without a parent there, Darcy can't go.  With David being the sole source of income, he cannot take off and take Darcy to Friday School each week.  I never know if I will feel like going (and lately I never feel like doing anything before 11:00am because it is usually close to 4:00am before I get to sleep).  It physically impossible for me to function on just three hours of sleep and continuing with Friday School would require that.  

I have been bawling all morning long.  I know I have limits and I recognize that continuing to try to go each week will result in a panic attack because of the stress of going or the guilt of not going.  That part I can handle.  

What I absolutely cannot handle is disappointing my child.  She loves her classes and her teachers and without me there, she cannot go.   I am a source of constant disappointment to her because I cannot do things that other "normal" moms do.  She understands as much as any nine year old can, but that doesn't mean she doesn't get upset when we miss out on social and educational experiences.  To disappoint her once again is unbearable.  

Chronic illnesses and disabilities are simply cruel.  I would give anything to not continue to dash the hopes of my child.