Thursday, September 12, 2013

eGADs! I have GAD!

Generalized Anxiety Disorder, aka GAD, is something I've become way too familiar with over the past two years.  For me it manifests in two main ways.  

The first major effect of GAD on my life is anxiety, often leading to panic attacks.  I've learned what several of my "triggers" are and I can avoid those situations when possible, but that's not always the case.  

For example, I had to attend a memorial service for an extended family member last week.  Being around groups of family members is one of those triggers (even very small groups freak me out).  I had to resort to anti-anxiety medication which gives me horrible side effects, so much so that I would almost rather have a full out panic attack that results in another visit to the ER. 

My first signal of a panic attack is the feeling of anxiety or dread, followed by the numbing of my left arm.  I get very shaky and clench my fists repeatedly.  My breathing increases and I feel faint.  I have heart palpitations so bad that it feels like a heart attack. 

Other triggers are having to go to the local Air Force base, doing anything with anyone from the school district where I used to work, and sometimes there are just the unknown triggers that randomly appear.  Fun times, my friends.  

The second major effect that GAD has had on me is I am now very easily overwhelmed, to the point where I cannot function.  I used to be able to organize and multitask like a champion, but now it just bogs me down.  

Take today, for instance.  I have so much on my plate today that I literally am just in tears.  I want to crawl back in to bed and throw the covers over my head and hide.  I know everyone gets overwhelmed, but for me it makes me crater into a black hole.  There's nothing to do about it, either.  

It sucks, this GAD.  

For more information on GAD:  http://www.nimh.nih.gov/health/topics/generalized-anxiety-disorder-gad/index.shtml

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